Long and Deep

I know it's been a while ... a LOOOONNNNGGGG while ... but I'm here. So much has happened since I stopped blogging. I've just needed some time to get my head around it all. I guess you could say I'm ready for re-entry into the atmosphere.

I'll try to give you the Readers Digest Abridged Version of happenings and goings on here at the House of Bling since I last chatted with you in ... OMG ... April!! I know ... bad, bad blogger!

I had my surgery on May 21st and everything went BEAUTIFULLY. The relief from pain, numbness, muscle spasms and tingling fingers was almost immediate. I've been healing well and life is good again ... physically.

I was out of work on medical leave for 2 and a half weeks. Approximately three and a half hours after my return to work, I was fired. Dude - my coffee hadn't even gotten cold yet. But you know what ... it was truly a blessing. I'd been quite unhappy ... okay, flat-out miserable at my job for quite some time (a year). Because I had no sick time left and hadn't accrued any vacation time, I couldn't even interview for a new job anywhere. Simply put, I was trapped and had no options. I felt like I couldn't make any changes or move, so the good Lord moved me. As Friend's mother said, "Sometimes when we feel like we can't move, the Lord kicks us in the ass and moves us."

Upon my arrival at home on that life-changing day, I had such a sense of relief and peace. It was amazing.

I was able to spend the summer at home with my girls. I've continued looking for a full-time job, but it just isn't happening. I'm submitting 2-5 resumes each week and barely getting calls for interviews. The problem? I'm over qualified. Companies are looking for entry-level admins (a.k.a. secretaries) and are only willing to pay entry-level salaries/wages. I'm far from entry-level. I've been an executive level admin for over 20 years. Companies want my skills and experience ... they just don't want to pay for it. I even applied for a part-time position two weeks ago. I even got an interview for said position. But in the end, they offered it to someone else. I'm even ready and willing to take a paycut for a position with benefits. In fact, I interviewed for one a few weeks ago that would have been an almost $10k paycut. They offered it to someone else because they couldn't believe I wouldn't have continued looking for higher-paying opportunity elsewhere. I can understand their concern. But at this point, I didn't consider what they were offering as a negative. Quite the opposite - it was an opportunity.

Believe it or not, I'm not stressed about this. The Lord has always provided for me and I know He'll see me through this. I have some money coming in ... I'm doing some work for an attorney and I'm working my Mary Kay business. Up until now I've just been doing the Mary Kay on a part-time, almost hobby level. But, I've been doing alot of praying about this and I know I need to work my MK biz as if it's my full-time job. It's the only thing I've got going right now and I need to make it work.

This means I have to give it serious time instead of just chatting about it or mentioning it to people in passing. Last weekend I worked a couple of events (the Dog Day Festival and the State Fair) for the sole purpose of getting leads to grow my business. Starting Monday, I'll be on the phone booking those leads as facials and/or classes.

My kids, especially DD#3, love me being here when they get off the school bus every day. And I love it too. This is also giving me the chance to volunteer at each of their schools, read to DD#3's class once a month, and even go read to Niece#2's class as a Mystery Reader once a month (my 1st time reading to her class is coming up in a couple of weeks ... I'm really excited about it and can't wait to see her precious little face when I walk into her class!). I couldn't do any of these things when I was working outside the home.

After my surgery, it took some time for my knitting mojo to return. I think a combination of the change in my knitting tension/gauge and the pain I was in before surgery took its toll on me. Knitting became a bit of a struggle and I wasn't feeling the knitting goddess's love. After losing my job, depression added to it so I still wasn't knitting much. In August I went on a road trip with my mom, my uncle, his 6 yo son and DD#3 to visit family in Decatur, Alabama. I started feeling the knitterly love on that trip. I'm sure the mini yarn crawl with my mom and finishing a pair of socks helped! Since then, I've almost completed a 2nd pair of socks (I'm on the toe decreases of sock #2) and picked Thermal back up.

On many levels (job, knitting, finances in general, spiritually, relationship-wise), the last few months have been a time of major evaluation and contemplation for me. In less than six months time, I've had some pretty major changes:

• I've finally resolved physical problems (my neck) that I've been dealing with for 9 years
• I left a job that was killing me (physically and emotionally)
• I ended a 10-month relationship that should have ended 8 months earlier
• I've grown still and quiet so I can hear God's voice and grow closer to Him
• I've learned to trust the little voice inside, which I now know to be God's voice
• I've re-evaluated my financial needs and desires
• I'm letting go of material possessions that have been weighing me down and creating chaos in my life, my head and my heart (no, this does not include yarn ... sorry!)

I'm on a new path. I have no idea where it's leading, but I know it's not about the destination ... it's about the journey. I'm not the same person I was 6 months ago. My priorities have changed. My passion and desires have changed. These changes are not the result of one moment or an epiphany, but about all the moments.

I can't wait to see where this journey takes me ...